3 Questions To Help You Learn From Past Emotional Trauma

It was November 2020 and we were in the middle of the worst of the Covid pandemic.

I got summoned onto a call from the head of operations.

"You're shop's struggling to meet targets. It needs to improve. We're going to move you to another branch while an area manager assesses your branch to see if there's any improvements we can make."

I was shocked.

I kind of saw something like this happening eventually. But I'd tried my best to hit the targets and meet the figures.

It clearly wasn't working.

It was unprecedented times. It was bound to be imperfect. I mean did they actually expect me to be smashing targets, let alone meeting them?

On the outside, I calmly nodded my head and listened as I heard the rest of the plan.

Inside I was distraught.

Was I going to lose my job?

What would I do?

I needed my job to secure my wife's visa in the next year.

"If they're going to sack me I might as well get a headstart on the job hunting." I thought.

I mean after all these years.

The committment I'd shown them and this is how they were going to treat me. Just another number that's not meeting the numbers.

I'd had enough.

I was pissed off.

One month later, I received an offer for a job I'd always thought about doing eventually but it had always been a someday goal.

It's funny how life works.

Sometimes you have to get pushed towards what you want so you can actually start doing it.

4 years later and I'm a different animal.

I've grown a great deal as a person and I put it down to that phone call.

Sometimes what seems like the worst day of your life can be like the drawing back of an arrow.

Pulling you back for a shot forward towards your goal.

I'd never processed that memory until I answered Tucker Max's 3 questions for memoir writing.

Tucker recently appeared on the How I write podcast and one of the topics he spoke about was the power of answering these 3 questions to help you process your emotions from the scars of trauma. (You can check out the full interview with Tucker Max here.)

Here's the 3 questions he recommends:

In answering these 3 questions you're able to process the emotional scars of trauma.

• To understand what you went through.

• To learn lessons about yourself.

• To see connections that you didn't see before.

This all helps you to heal from the trauma and move forward in a healthy way.

That's what I noticed when I answered the question above. I'd never understood that connection between what was one of the worst days in my life and how it pushed me towards a longtime goal I'd had. It's helped me to see the event in a new light. To take lessons from it that can help me as I grow through life.

That's the power of the 3 questions.

This weekend, have a go at answering these questions. See what emotions you process and what connections you find.

If you feel comfortable with sharing it, let mek now what you discover.

Untill next week,

Stay thriving,

Shoaib.

PS: If you liked this, the best thanks is sharing it with your community and encouraging friends and family to sign up for these weekly messages.